SHOW REVIEW: ULI JON ROTH: 2/11/2012

This was a show review that I wrote by hand over a year ago, and finally dug up out of an old notebook!

I have written extensively on the subject of the poverty stricken Rock And Roll enthusiast and his need to get significantly inebriated outside of the concert venue with bargain basement liquors purchased in bulk. Bartenders are great, I do admit, because at least with them, you're never drinking alone, yes? But in these uncertain economic climes it is sometimes necessary to cut out the middleman. So it was after a long, full-day band practice that I was putting my abstract theories into distinct reality, and simultaneously educating my two younger brothers on my techniques: we were "pounding" twenty four ounce cans Tecate in a black 2009 Hyundai Elantra on a dark side street near the Oakland Metropolitan Opera House, anticipating the performance of Teutonic guitar relic, and living legend Uli Jon Roth.

In the midst of a heroic gulp of watery Mexican lager, my eyes shifted sideways and I noticed a rather distraught looking young man hurrying towards the vehicle from the other side of the street. Upon closer observation, he turned out to be a rather masculine woman. A police badge was flashed, and I groaned inwardly: "undercover cop?!" No... off duty cop. Boca de Fuma enthusiasts will recall my past encounters with off duty officers have not always been pleasant. So miss Polly Policeman, fascist pig bitch, was flexing her muscle off duty, like a hero! She took it upon herself to harass three citizens drinking in a private vehicle with the keys out of the ignition, because she doesn't like the kind of drinking and littering that goes on from the rock fans outside her apartment. She left. We didn't. Then she came back with a bullet proof vest on! It was really time to put the Nazi in her place:

"I know it's your job to be the iron heel of the ruling class which stamps my face into the cold ground, but do you have to make it your hobby too?" 

That's what I thought about saying. But alas, I was forced to leave the finely honed blades of my razor wit in the box that night, due to a lingering fear that robo-bitch would somehow discover and prosecute us for our real illegal problem, that the fresh faced beer drinker in the back seat was a mere seventeen years old. In the politest tones I could muster, I assured Lucy Law that her concerns would be addressed, and we vanished around the corner to continue drinking. We conspired in low tones to deposit large amounts of refuse upon her doorstep, and paint crude slogans upon her wall in pigs blood so that she would be reminded in the morning on her way to work just what kind of neighborhood she lives in and just what kind of "person" she is.

Uli Jon Roth was great, he played old and new solo material, as well some some classics from his days in the Scorpions. For the Scorps numbers, he brought out a German singer (looking a bit like Chuck Billy, actually) who nailed the Klaus Meine vocal parts with uncanny precision. Excelent!

I spent the rest of the night absorbed in the work of a living legend doing what he does best, and soon forgot the piggy troubles of the outside world.

JANUARY 2013 SHOW REVIEWS

Wow! Only six shows in January? 2013 is off to a lazy start, hopefully not a sign of things to come. It wasn't even really an issue of quality over quantity this time around, as most of these shows really sucked. Just kidding! Or am I? Read on to find out.

As the country was about to go over the "fiscal cliff" I took an adventurous trip over to Concord, California to attend a "heavy rock and punk show." It was a cold night for The Bay, and it seemed to be more chilly out in the outlands, even though it's farther from the coast. What the fuck? Pigs were playing when I got inside the house, and they seemed particularly good. Whether it was the intimate setting, the unusual sobriety of the band, or something wholly intangible, can never be known. Next up was the new-ish band Bedrücken, which has Amy from Vöetsek on vocals (will she exclusively play in bands with ümlauts in the name?), my old bandmate Kenny from Acts Of Sedition, and other friendly scene members, playing a mix of d-beat, sludge and stoner rock. It sounded very East Bay. Headlining the show was D.O.C. (No, Sadly not THE D.O.C. of N.W.A. posse fame) but Disciples of Christ, a vicious Washington DC grindcore outfit. It was refreshing to see a grind band with the power trio lineup. Guitar! And Bass! Wow! They really tore it up, the famous Chris Moore of Magrudergrind fame bashing the skins with harsh precision. Of course, Concord shows always mean smoking inhuman amounts of weed with strangers, and I did just that, so my trip home on BART was rather a blur. I do however remember almost eating a turkey sandwich that I found in the BART station.

On Sunday, January 6, I cruised into an early show at The Knockout, saw a snippet of rockin' motorpunx Elegy, and listened to a bit of Neon Piss while I loitered on the sidewalk catching up with the L.A. and New York crazies, and hung out in a van catching up with some locals. By the time I actually got inside the venue for real and started paying attention, Drapeto was onstage, and I was too drunk to really assess the situation. They are very punk, some people throw around terms like "Germs-y hardcore." So I'll roll with that for now. I have their demo tape so maybe I can go home and listen to it and get my shit together. Sad Boys actually turned out to be 50% female, and did not seem sad AT ALL, so upon this revelation I quickly exited the mosh zone and demanded a refund. No, but seriously, fun band, fun punk, and they have Angie from the old Minneapolis band Ganglion, so you can't go wrong. Later on, I was back in Oakland drinking at my local shit-hole dive bar, and the whole Sad Boys/Drapetomania crew rolled in. The night ended with a huge fight with almost all the punks in the bar versus one drunken-piece-of-shit-waste-of-oxygen. What a last call that was!  

On Tuesday, January 8th, I rushed back to Oakland after band practice, attempting to see an extremely rare performance of Ovens at The Pink String. By the time I got there they were almost done, and the house was so packed full of people that I could barely get in the door! There were even people sitting on the fence outside the house watching the band through the living room windows! I had a great time though, and before left I had won some Ancient Age Whiskey and at least two cigarettes playing high low dice with some savage crusties on the filth and dog hair encrusted floor of someone's "room."

The following Sunday, I cruised down to the Oakland Metro to catch what would be a co-ed hardcore event of biblical proportions. One after another, a batch of crushing bands took the stage, and each one had at least one female member, I think? (was this planned?). I watched them all except C.R.A.S.H., I admit, because I was outside smoking weed the whole time, and when you're tangled up in a legit Oakland smoke out like that, it's quite easy to miss an entire hardcore band's set. Trust me, it's happened before. "Rad" from Sacramento lived up to their name; they were pleasantly surprisingly good. I finally saw Replica, who were quite intense and definetly lived up to the hype. As a drummer, I was rather pleased to see one set from Rich Gutierrez and TWO from the great B! Permanent Ruin and No Statik also killed it. And then spat on it. And then killed it again to make sure it was dead.Can I even explain how intense Ruby is as front woman of No Statik? Well, do you remember towards the end of Aliens when Sigourney Weaver is fighting the queen alien ans she's really pissed off and freaking out? It reminds me of that.

On Friday, January 18th someone asked me how my day was going. I said "surprisingly well considering that I woke up on the floor of Vanishing Breed's motel room in Santa Cruz that morning." There had been something also about a motel pool, cops arriving on the scene about 2am, and buying shitloads of coke from a sketchy mexican guy at a bar across town. But you didn't hear that from me. Oh, and the gig? What I thought was going to be a wild show actually paled in comparison to the after party: If I had forseen this I wouldn't have even made the effort to jump in the questionable Hornss van and ride down there, but what's done is done. Even more mysterious is how I made it back to San Francisco the next day, but I did. I had every intention of catching the entire lineup at Brick and Mortar that night, but I was first obliged to go help drink a free keg of Anchor Steam that had appeared in a friend's kitchen. This obligation took a little longer than I was expecting, and I ended up (walking in for free and) catching only Black Cobra, who I ended up largely ignoring as prowled around the venue looking for the girl I was trying to meet up with.One month down! Year of the Snake! Lucky '13!

SHOW REVIEW:NEUROSIS: 12/31/2012

Going out on Monday night can be tough, especially when you've been raging since Thursday night, but we don't get to pick which night New Years eve is on. I had less enthusiasm for New Year's Eve than ever in this time, around and I would have delightfully passed out in my own bed by eight o'clock without a second thought had I not been included on the guest list for the Neurosis New Year's Eve show at The Oakland Metro Operahouse.

I gulped a shot of whiskey in the kitchen, dragged myself out of the flat at about 9:30, and caught a San Francisco bound train, which was already full of complete YOBBOS going out to rage in The City. Fucking amateur night. Walked down to the Metro from the 12th Street Station, and ran into some buddies at Beer Revolution. I had a quick imperial stout and we were on our way. Of course we couldn't make the two block walk without drinking some cider, then some mushroom tea, and then of course smoking weed.

Got inside just before Kicker began. It was definitely the biggest stage I've ever seen them on. They played for along time, and did some new stuff, and even did a song where Roadie played guitar. It was fun, but I still don't know if Kicker is greater than the sum of it famous parts. Before they were even done, the mushroom tea began to kick take hold of my senses. I hadn't even had much, but I could tell it is was tres forte. 

Next up was Neurosis, who played for a very long time, and delved deep into their voluminous catalog. I was in and out of the main room, watching them on and off, trying to find ways to deal with my unexpectedly strong psychedelic journey. During the course of the evening I became engaged in a labyrinthine self delusional paranoia in which I thought that someone was trying to lead me into a trap, and have me violently attacked or potentially killed. This led to some awkward social situations.

Meanwhile, Neurosis played on. They didn't have the usual video display behind them, and this was the first time I'd seen them without it. I realized it was cool just to see them playing, just a band on a stage, not being distracted trying to interpret the film projections.

More than anything else, the show was one hell of a scene reunion; I was running into old friends everywhere, and I could tell that so was everyone else, seeing folks they hadn't seen in years. I also saw a lot of people I was unfamiliar with, who had probably come in from out of town, or maybe were old Neurosis fans who have drifted away from the current scene, but could not resist coming into the coven one more time. . 

The gig ended, and I wandered outside, extremely perplexed as to how I was going to get home. BART was running late, but I don't think I could have handled the walk through downtown Oakland and the BART ride with all the puking, fighting hooligans, and puking, fighting, torn miniskirt sluts. Luckily, someone summoned me into Bill's Drunk Bus, and I was whisked to North Oakland. I remember that I kept on offering him twenty bucks to take me home first, but it didn't happen, and I ended up jumping out of the van at 43rd and MLK, walking the rest of the way home in the grips of extreme psychedelic terror.

Thanks to Stacy Young for pilfering a set list:

SHOW REVIEW:BADR VOGU: 4/25/2012: (Worst Show Review Ever)

Show Review: Thrillhouse Benefit: 2/6/12

NO FLYER

(there's a picture of permanent ruin I stole from somewhere)

Don't remember too much about this, is was a benefit show for Thrillhouse Records, which had recently been robbed. Perm Ru was good fun as always, and it was my first time seeing Culture Kids up close and really paying attention. Fuck yes. I was stoked to see The Knockout packed on a Monday night and on such short notice.

SHOW REVIEW: NO STATIK: 2/4/12

One of the craziest and packed hardcore shows I've seen at 1234-GO! I wasted a lot of time getting beer, and even missed a whole band I think when I bought an Ice Cube record from the store and took it back to my apartment. Shit. It was great to see No Statik in this room, and the crowd was going crazy, and co-ed whirling frenzy thrashing maelstrom.

After this show, I went with some folks down to a punk house near 41st and Market, where another show was still going on. The house was a fucked, classic punk house, a stark comparison to the clean, drug and alcohol free environment of the record store. Scums settles in it's own environment, not in an aquarium! I did coke bumps with some weirdos in somebody's room, hit on a little blond girl for awhile who seemed WAY too young for me, and eventually went home and cooked 7-11 frozen pizzas with a few other party refugees.

Show Review: Graveyard: 1/30/12

This show was originally booked at Cafe du Nord, sold out, and then moved to the larger capacity Slim's, where I believe it STILL sold out. Luckily, by some odd chance, I was on the guest list. Met up with Scott Alcoholocaust outside, and we drank beer and smoked weed in the alley, that favorite boozin' alley, you know which one I'm talking about if you've ever been a poor loser going to a show at Slim's. Unfortunately we walked past the dark and quiet building formerly known as the Eagle Tavern (R.I.P.), and the evening momentarily took on a somber tone. 

After running into and hanging out with some other scoundrels in the alley, we got back inside and Green And Wood was already playing. I'd seen them before on some small stages, but they sounded pretty good at Slim's. Bring' some heavy retro stoner jams up from L.A. Needless to say, they fit perfectly on the bill. Managed to get a free beer from one of the Slim's bartenders, and then I wandered around and ran into lots of girls who were treating me weird for no reason.

I'd never seen Radio Moscow before, but they were also pretty good. Really retro Hendrix-y kind of power trio rock. Rippin' guitar player with a tight backup band. I later found out that the guitar player had a completely new rhythm section, because he had recently been in some kind of bloody (stitches required!) guitar throwing altercation onstage, and both of the old guys had quit. I think this might have been the first show with the new bassist and drummist, but I didn't really notice any sloppiness. At one point, one of the guys came out front with a big tribal drum and it crossed the line over into hippie land, but thankfully they didn't stay there too long.

Graveyard was really awesome. Not as awesome as last time, but last time I also got to bang a chick in the ladies bathroom of Cafe du Nord during the show, so you can't really beat that. Anyway, Graveyard bring the Penta-Sabbath worship with no apologies, at least as good as, maybe better than their Swedish contemporaries in Witchcraft. Fuck yes.

Me and some of the Hightower dudes went down to Bender's after the show and had a few drinks,  and then my bandmate Shane walked in. We were both feeling pretty tipsy, and without a doubt high as fuck, so we headed over to the venerable Taqueria Cancun for tortilla based action. There were some really obnoxious jock type dudes in the restaurant, and I can't really remember how it played out, but me and Shane and couple other people who came with us from Bender's basically got in a brawl with them and had to beat them up and chase them away. All in all, not bad for a Monday night.

Show Review: Carlton Melton: 1/28/12

I was getting wasted all day this day, doing lots of drugs, etc. I wound up at the Glitter Wizard, Carlton Melton show at El Rio, but I barely remember anything of it. The above photograph is some of the only evidence that remains of that night. Apparently I was hanging out with Bart Simpson. And he's an Owl fan. Nice. I couldn't find a flyer for this show anywhere.

Show Review: Walls: 1/27/12

This was one hell of a cleanup show for me, as I saw five bands that I've never seen before. While almost no one in the audience had probably seen Australia's True Radical Miracle before, you might be surprised that I had never seen West Coast allstar powerhouse Walls, or local punk ragers Neo-Cons. But as usual, fate conspired against me, and I was forced to wait until January 27th, 2012 to make right with the world.

When I arrived, which was SERIOUSLY almost on time this time, Dead Clade had just finished, so I have no idea, as of yet, what's up with "Oakland's Newest Assault." Perhaps next time. I took the opportunity to kickstart my drunk with a tall can from the store down the street, anticipating (correctly) that I would spend the rest of the evening tediously extracting single 12oz cans of beer from the in house vending machine for one dollar each.

Hunting Party was a raging good time. Menacing hardcore with Boo Boo on vocals, and some members of Migraine on "instruments." Mostly fast shit with some weird parts that might suggest Bl'ast or maybe even Septic Death. Definitely a good time, and look forward to seeing these guys more in the future.

Permanent Ruin was a new band that I had tried and failed to see several times, much to my dismay, because it involves some of my favorite playas from the recent HC scene. Mariam from Chicago's Condenada on vocals, some dudes from the late, great In Disgust. Honestly, their set went by in a fucking blur, but the good kind of blur that kind of sweeps you off your feet, not the bad kind that makes you wake up hours later, face down next to a public toilet. Cool! I should have bought a demo tape right away, because they sold out before the end of the show.

Quick set changeovers, much conversation and little boredom came between bands. Next was San Francisco's Neo Cons. I'm stoked I finally got to see these folks. Fun, catchy punk/hardcore hybrid style. Flailing, flying, out of control lead singer. Delightfully sloppy musicianship. These kids are great. I can't believe it took me so long to see them play. Fuck yes.

True Radical Miracle: Some weird band from Australia. They were actually really cool. I still haven't heard them recorded, so I can only go on my memory from that night, but I seem to recall that they sounded somewhat like Killing Joke. Rhythmic, hypnotic, ummm... I really need a fucking thesaurus. I run out of words to describe five different bands in a show review. They had an awesome nerd of a girl drummer who had a good style. See? That whole hating Australians thing was actually a joke, in case you were wondering.

...and the Walls came tumbling down. You can't really fuck with any project that has Jensen Ward on drums. No way. You might as well try to stop a semi truck with a fly swatter. Walls is a heavy, rhythmic, brain beating, poudning of the senses, hardcore, more in the sense of it's intensity than it's speed (which is not too fast.) Like a horrendously disturbed Killing Joke meets Swans meets weirdest drugged out Black Flag meets the rawest tribal Neurosis parts. Worth the wait.

I left before the end of the set to chase some girl over to a party on MLK, where Huff Stuff Magazine was playing last. I watched like, one song. It was a pretty good party though, and I got pretty drunk. ("No way!")

Show Review: Fleshies: 1/20/12

Yet ANOTHER post to alienate my metalhead, crusty and hardcore readers! Oh, wait, I don't HAVE any readers! 

Another show conveniently one block from my flat, another night of overpowering paranoia preventing me from walking out the door until I had missed almost the whole show. I got inside just about half way through the Fleshies set, but didn't escape paying the door charge this time. Right as I walked in, John Geek landed at my feet, and I shouldn't have been surprised to find him at least 20 from the stage. He wasn't even close to being naked though. The Fleshies had always been my favourite of the East Bay poppier punk bands that were playing during my early years of living in Oakland, and I hadn't seen them in awhile. It felt good. Like a familiar old uncle's hand down your pants.

After the show, I jumped in a van and went to a party at Rory's house, and got damn well WAY-sted, ate a bunch of mushrooms, and listened to a lot of records on a stereo that has speakers hooked up to the front porch. Isn't that a good idea! Walked home at 4am in the rain tripping on mushrooms and drunk. It was probably fun, but I can barely remember.

Show Review: King Lollipop: 1/18/12

I mainly went to this show because I had still not been to a show at 1-2-3-4-Go! Records yet. And I have no FUCKING excuse, considering that there have been some really cool shows there already (in the new location, across the street from the first two locations), and it's literally ONE FUCKING BLOCK  from my doorstep.

I didn't know what was up with King Lollipop, except that it has a really dumb name, and that my friends Steve-O and Micah are in it. The band was already playing when I got there, and they let me in for free, thank god. King Lollipop is one guy playing guitar and singing in a really annoying voice, and like, four dudes, including my buddies, playing stand up drums. Which I thought was cool. A drum orchestra backing up one guy. Drums, man. I fucking dig drums. But anyway, finally a show at my friendly neighborhood venue. I also got to take a look inside Lisa Mancini's recently installed old-school (film! chemicals! not digital!) photobooth, which was cool. It's awesome to see how old machines work, although my illusion of of little elf inside the machine developing your pictures for you was shattered.

After the show, me and some chicks went down to Geo-Kayes and got drunk and played dice for hours, deeply insulting some indie rockers that tried to hang out with us along the way. Two girls came back to me flat, but I couldn't convince them to stay, so I probably ended up smoking hash and listening to UFO by myself again at 4am.

Show Review: Brainoil: 1/14/12

I didn't do shit all day, barely left the house, and I had a big problem convincing myself to get out the door and go to Gilman, which is always a sort of social mindfuck for some reason. I had to get drunk by myself first, and this was actually such a chore that by the time I got to Gilman Street Thou was already closing things out with a Nirvana cover. Well I tried. The place was packed, and I didn't feel like lingering within, so I quickly got to Pic 'n' Pac and grabbed another beer to pound.

Then back inside for Brainoil. They rule. I stayed in the front row and 'eadbanged for the whole set, but is that some kind of a surprise? If you don't know how I feel about this band yet, there's a pretty thorough explanation HERE.

After Gilman I rode me bicycle all the way down to the Ruby Room (downtown Oakland!), which was actually quite fun. I haven't done a long Eastbay night hellride like that in a while. Got there by 1am, enough time to get some dranks in and comingle with comely punk coeds, who were swaying to the stylings of DJ Nipple.

Then we took a crew back to the A.T. house to party, on the way set a Christmas tree on fire, and killed a homeless guy too.

Show Review: Rank Xerox: 1/13/12

This was the first time that I ever made it out to the Five Points art house, and now I'm glad that I did, because it shut down very soon after. I walked up and there were lots of kids hanging around in the alley, and the air was rife with the smell of beer (pre and post ingestion). I though to myself  "I can't believe that this has been going for so long in this neighborhood. Damn homie."  I like to call my self homie.

I was kind of drunk already, I can't remember why, but luckily there was a bar inside, and I was able to drink more for not that much money. Shoppers, from New York State were setting up, so I lingered around inside and made small talk with the few weirdos there that I could pick out from the crowd. Shoppers live sounded more punk and angry, less noisy and Sonic Youth-y than their demo tape. Not bad though. I bought a tape of their new album.

I hung around long enough to get another beer and catch the beginning of Rank/Xerox, who are a pretty good band, but the awkwardly shaped room was crowded, and I just didn't feel like craning my neck to see the group, or standing in the back listening. I had no compelling reason to stay, so I didn't.

I probably went to back to Oakland and smoked hash and listened to UFO by myself or something. Pretty lame huh? There's a compelling reason to NOT review every single show that I go to.

Show Review: Glitter Wizard: 1/10/12

I was in LA for the A.N.S. tour and we had a night off. Chris Wall's birthday party was starting to die down, so I took an offer to jump in the car with some of the Shrine dudes and go see Glitter Wizard in Hollywood. In the car on the way, I took a hit of acid on a Smarties candy.

When we got there, Zachary James And His All Seeing Eyes were just starting to play. Too bad. They were really boring. The focal point was this babe on stage who did backup vocals and stood behind a keyboard, but as far as I could tell, she barely played it.

Then Glitter Wizard came on, and it went something like this:

Show Review: Opt Out: 12/30/11

Here is a show review that I never finished. I realized that this post has been chillin' as a "draft" for exactly one year now, so I though it was about time to break it out and finish it up. This was about to be the last show review that I wrote before going on hiatus for about a year due to extreme busyness and growing weary of reviewing EVERY FUCKING SHOW that I went to.

I don't really remember too much about this show, as it was a year ago, and I'm sure I was drunk. I remember it being part of an excellent run of punk shows at Submission that were able to overcome, somehow, the shortcomings of that terrible venue. All of these shows in question, which occured in late 2010, were characterized by me getting really drunk at my San Francisco home base on Sycamore Alley, then going to the show, hitting on lots of (potentially) underage girls, and occasionally enjoying some of the fine punk bands.

Death First was one of the many NYC punk bands that were flying out to tour the West coast at that time, and I remember them being pretty cool. I will have to consult the demo tape that I bought.

Show Review: Ruleta Rusa: 12/17/11

Finally dragged by myself out of the relative warmth of my apartment and went down to the warehouse where this Anhedonist gig was happening. This was really weird because I hadn't been to this warehouse in like, ten years, and it was still occupied by most of the same people. It was fixed up a lot, but still recognizable. I spent a lot of time there back in 2002-ish because the singer of my original Oakland band (you're lucky if you don't know who that is) lived there and we therefore rehearsed there.

I showed up as Crucifixion were playing and caught most of their set. The fact that they sound like a cohesive original band to me (and not a Sepultura cover band) probably has more to do with my pedestrian knowledge level of early Sepultura than anything else. I was hanging out, drinking a 40oz (just like in the old days!) and eventually Ritual Necromancy started playing. I stayed for about half the set, then began to get restless and bailed out. I had seen them the night before, and I had already seen Anhedonist, the headliner, three times in the past two weeks.

Rolled into the Swamp a few minutes later with my remaining warm beer, just in time to see Ruleta Rusa, the final band, they were pretty good, even though I could tell they were wasted. I tried to hang for a little bit afterward, and I was gonna go to a party, but a weed brownie that I ate back at the metal show was starting to kick in, and boy was it a motherfucker! I had to go home and spend the rest of the night lying awake in bed, listening to classic metal records because I was almost too stoned to move. My mind ran rampant with thoughts of a Budgie cover band to be called Homocidal Suicidal.

Show Review: Dispirit: 12/16/11

I'm back bitches! That is, back to doing show reviews again, apparently. Until I get sick of it again. Which will probably be soon. It's exactly two days shy of being a year since my LAST show review, so I thought I should try to do at least one in 2011.

Why the dry spell?  Well, as some of you may know, I am wearer of many hats, and a player of drums in many bands, and I am kept busy in a variety of ways that don't necessarily facilitate the luxury of sitting in front of my computer composing flowery prose about my nightly activities. Plus I get really frustrated when I can't find the flyer and/or ticket stub for the show that I went to. I'd rather not do a show review at all than release an "incomplete one." Graphics are required to keep the attention of the common people.  Lo and behold, I also wrote some reviews of shows in 2011 that I simply didn't bother to publish, for one reason or another, and those will probably be seeing the light of day sooner or later. I might even try to squeeze out a top ten shows list of 2011 before too long. Still got at least a week!  I'm not one of those impatient bastards who puts out a "years best" list in fucking November. Fuck all of you that did.

Anyway, I didn't get to the show completely on time because I had a short band practice after work, then me and Leo were hanging out and got pizza and beer, and I missed the opening band, which I thought was going to be Ritual Necromancy, but instead it turned out to be Acephalix, which was good, not that I don't like them, but I've seen them a FUCKLOAD of times, and I will see them again. Ritual Necromancy was cool, fun, but not breathtaking. I'm stoked to no end that the death metal renaissance of the past few years has swung the pendulum back to "dirty death metal" and away from suburban kids in cargo shorts emphasizing pinged harmonics and sweep picking, but I'm not still hearing any of the vital hooks that pleased me so much in the old Swedish stuff, or MEMORABLE slow riffs like Autopsy has. This kind of murky, gloomy Death Metal is more mood music than song music, and the mood is total self annihilation, crushing of the spirit and withering of the body. I love Incantation too, but I'm trying to think of a riff of theirs that I can hum, but I can't. I can remember distinctly the mood though, of sitting through in Incantation album. It's like being on a 747 with one bad engine, passing through an oppressive dark cloud for 45 minutes. Ritual Necro are definitely flying on the same airline.

I was getting pretty drunk a the bar, and also made it across the street to Leo's place to polish of a 24 ounce can of Tecate between bands.

Anhedonist was next. I love these guys. As people and as a band. They're some of my best friends in the city of Seattle, and even If for some reason I wanted to say something bad about them, I couldn't, so fuck you. In addition to being a lumbering, repulsive beast of a Death Doom band, Anhedonist has taken it upon themselves to not only take Mournful Congregation from Australia down to Texas with them for the Rites of Darkness festival, but they brought Cruciamentum (UK) back with them to California, and they have also driven around such bands as Oak from the east coast, and are just a generally useful bunch of folks. Here's to internationalism and cooperation in the Death Doom scene!

I was getting pretty drunk and talking to girls and stuff.

I remember Cruciamentum being fun, more straightforward and aggressive than Ritual Necro. These English seemed to be full of piss and vinegar, and maybe it was all those pints clouding my mind, but are these guys letting their UK roots betray them by allowing crust-death Bolt Thrower elements to seep in? Like I said, I was getting pretty drunk, but having a good time.

I was pretty tired and wasted, but I had to stick around and see Dispirit, because I had never seen them before! Every single other Dispirit show I have either missed the band by being late, or simply missed the show altogether because I had to do something else, or play somewhere else, or be on tour. So I stuck it out and diligently watched their whole set, a option that many of the night's club goers chose to forsake. I was not disappointed at all by my choice, and found Dispirit to weave a thoroughly righteous tapestry (a rotting tapestry depicting a ritualistic ceremony of course) of gothic doomy black metal. It's hard to pick out the details when you're fucked up and the sounds are screeching around in a half empty club at 1AM, but I still feel like I got a lot out of it.

Luckily all I had to do afterwards was walk across the street, eat more pizza and pass out on Leo's couch.

Show Review: Agalloch: 12/22/10

The main points of going to this show were to FINALLY see Dispirit, and to take my little brother to a show at Great American Music Hall, because he was on vacation from High School and he wanted to see a show there, at the spot which I have always told him I believe is the superior live music venue in San Francisco.

I failed in my first goal right off the bat by missing Dispirit AGAIN. Fuck. They ended right when I got to the front door. I was left hanging in between band limbo trying to stretch the little money I had on pints of beer. Me and the bro actually ended up spending most of the show in the far back, upstairs balcony which is is unusual for me. It would have been rather pleasant too, if the spectacle being witnessed below was almost anything other than Alerseelen.

Alerseelen would be the perfect soundtrack for being strapped down to a table and shit on repeatedly by gay sadomasochistic Nazi mad scientist. His shaved head hovers in the distance, he adjusts his creepy little glasses and croaks "Vud you like von more?"

Agalloch were tremendously better, although that's not really saying much. Everyone with an opinion to share about music seems to be all up on this band's jock these days, many saying that "Marrow Of The Spirit" is one of the year's best albums... blah blah... Whatever. While there was some extremely competent and forceful drumming from local celebrity Aesop, the songs themselves were not that heavy, seemed anticlimactic and leaned heavily on what could be termed "post rock" or "emo" sounding parts. Yawn. If Black Metal puts me to sleep then I better have some fucking nightmares. Give me me some heavy riffs. This is safe metal for old people who used to listen to Mayhem, but now that they have kids they can't reconcile with the idea of total satanic annihilation, so they find "heavy" music instead that has songs about spirits and nature and other vaguely inoffensive mystical things, then they burn some sage and meditate on their inner sadness.

I promised my brother that I would take him to a better show next time we went to Great American.

Show Review: Brainoil: 12/15/10

Got to the venue with plenty of time to spare, but me and my old lady decided to open the eyes of the wild man o' the south, Dixie Dave Collins and one of his band mates in Buzz0v'en by taking them around the corner to the Eagle Tavern. I don't think that we provided them with anything more than some cheap Pabst, not an awakening gay experience in the men's room, (nor anywhere else), because the Eagle wasn't really being very much of anything that night, gay or otherwise. We hung out for a bit, and by the time we got back to the venue had bypassed the opening acts K. Lloyd, and my local hardcore buddies No Statik, whom I'm sure it would have been as awkward as a seventh grade slow dance boner to see upon the massive stage in front of almost no one. Not that they didn't handle the scenario with great finesse, I'm sure, which is less than I can say for all those boners I had...

Neurotoxicity was jammin' it when I came in, and I quickly ignored them and made my way backstage to look for DRUGS. This was an admittedly noble pursuit, but it was soon forsaken for the obligation to be pummeled directly in the face by Brainoil. Sweet! I'm sure you know how I feel about this band by now. Then I went out to the alley and drank a tall can. I was pretty drunk by this point, but that must have been my tipping point, because I soon got the idea that I was going to sneak a bunch more beer into the venue, past the DNA's neanderthalic security forces. Ha! I was stopped at the door, questioned, and to use a kind euphemism "denied re-admittance."

I was arguing with the peanut dick sized, pea brained ape who was working the door, just about ready to whip out my junk and piss on his leg so he would have to fight me, when a friendly face, concerned at my long absence, popped out from club and gently escorted me away from my impending doom. So I missed Buzzov'en completely by being a wasted retard, but their music and reputation is kind of all about being a wasted retard, isn't it?. I guess it kind of goes with the territory. Good thing I didn't pay to get in!

Show Review: Badr Vogu: 12/11/10

I don't think a flier was made for this show (?), so here's a picture of
me (on the left) being retarded at a different Badr Vogu gig. Photo by
Stacy Young.

I don't remember too much about this one at all, and I can't even
find a flier or an internet listing about the full lineup of this show.

It was the first show at the old Born/Dead back yard shack in a long
time, so I was stoked.

I missed the opening band, Funeral Stain, whom I had never heard of,
but they have a cool name!

Then some other bands played.

I got really, really drunk.

Abrupt played.

Badr Vogu played.

Fuckin sweet.

Quite a "review," huh?